Already for a long time, my wife knows that I am having ‘troubles with emunah’. I don’t put on tefillin, hardly davven, learn less, say less berachos, etc.
Last Friday night, my wife suddenly woke up to go to the toilet. I was using my mobile phone to update my Facebook status so the phone was not in the charger in the corridor. I am quite sure she noticed, but she kept quiet. That really amazed me.
There are a few possible reasons:
- Perhaps she wants to preserve my dignity while thinking “it is just a phase he has to go through”?
- She may just not have the energy to confront it head-on.
- Possibly, she has her own doubts in emunah?
- She is afraid to confront me for some reason.
I definitely am too scared for a confrontation. But already less scared than I used to be…