כי לא מחשבותי מחשבותיכם

כִּי לֹא מַחְשְׁבוֹתַי מַחְשְׁבוֹתֵיכֶם, וְלֹא דַרְכֵיכֶם דְּרָכָי

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Coming Out to my Kofer Work Colleague

After years, I finally outed myself to L., an Israeli colleague at work who originally told me about the Daat Emet site. He did not seem to be totally surprised and we had a great conversation today about it.

Although L. grew up non-religious, he does sometimes go to shul and he wants some basic Jewish education for his children. His wife converted and they do keep some standard of kosher at home. I admire his candid approach: he doesn't believe in the theology and halacha, whereas he does value the beauty of certain traditions Judaism has to offer. I could perhaps fit him in the mesorati corner, however, he doesn't seem to be the guy who would appreciate labels (like me).

I hope to post more about our discussions in the course of time, today we discussed 'chinuch'.

L. confided to me that it was very difficult for him that his son does not want to sing Ma Nishtana on Pesach, whereas he enjoys singing Christian nursery rhymes at home. For people kofering out, the question of how you would like to raise your kids is enormously important.

The way things are looking now, I will definitely not send my children to a haredi school (although my oldest son currently goes to a haredi kindergarten). But I don't want them to be 'Ameratzes' either. The alternatives would either be the local 'officially religious but not really' school (not much acclaimed for its academical or Jewish studies standards) or a non-Jewish school and make sure to educate the kids after school time.

However, both options would have as a prerequisite that I'd come out of the closet to not just my wife and some people in my closest circle, but to the rest  of the outside world as well.

Nu, that day will hopefully come in due time, 'im yirtzeh Hashem'!

8 comments:

  1. I thought you already came out to your wife? Are you sure she would be ok with this plan for your kids schooling?

    Personally i plan to send my kids to a good public school, and then if they decide they are interested in judaism there are plenty of sunday school hebrew school programs

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  2. I'm planning something similar to AbandoningEden for my little ones. I think that their secular education should be first and foremost, so they have as many opportunities and chances to grow as possible...

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  3. AE: I have told her about my beliefs and we have only started recently to discuss more 'practical' issues.

    OSM: Thanks :) There is also a remez in the background image as to where I currently live ;)

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  4. Yeah, my (potential) kids will be going to (good) public schools. Maybe Hebrew school at a Reconstructionist or Jewish Humanist place so that they can learn a little something, but no indoctrination ever.

    I also have a plan for my father. I'll tell him that if he tries to make my kids religious, I'll make my sister's kids non-religious. :-)

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  5. JA: I love your plan for your father! :P

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  6. I wonder what did your wife say about you becoming less religious. How did she react >

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  7. Sorry Hamaskil, your question got snowed under. Hope to post about it soon!

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