Avadim Anachnu…

Today, I still feel like a slave when:

• getting dressed and still putting on tzitzis and a kippah
• on the way to work, I meet people asking me where I davven
• at work, I walk around with a kippah and feel like an idiot
• I have to be careful nobody sees me when buying my treif lunch
• my child asks me about Hashem and I need to give an evasive answer
• leading the Seder for 40 people and not believing the story happened anyway (or at least not the way it is written in the Torah)
• leading in prayers when I don’t even know if I believe in the concept of a God (at least not the biblical God)
• I am not supposed to shave on Chol haMoed although I feel it goes against the festive spirit
• doing bitul chometz (who cares about the damn crumbs anyway?)

Dear fellow undercover kofers, my wish for the holiday season is: This year we are slaves, but next year we shall be free people!

Things to Reconsider before Frumming Out

I was asked by someone to compile a list of things one might want to contemplate before becoming orthodox. Here is my shortlist:

1. The loss of freedom. Once you are frum, you have to get married (no sex allowed before marriage), God dictates what you are allowed to believe, think and do, you lose your identity (changing your name, wasting your talents), the Rabbis decide on important and unimportant matters.
2. The role of the woman. Women are second degree citizens: they are not allowed to testify or to become a judge, their singing is considered 'nudity', what a woman owns belongs to her husband, only sons can inherit from their parents, man can have multiple women but not the other way around, etc. (More here.)
3. Non-Jews. ‘Goyim’ are to be despised: the only reason why you should save them on Shabbat is because otherwise it might desecrate the name of God. And non-Jews don't have a neshama (Godly soul). (More here.)
4. Apostates. People who rebel against orthodoxy can't be judges or bear testimony, going to secular courts is a sin, he should be buried only on the side of the graveyard, no kaddish is said for them. (More here.)
5. Science. Jews have to believe that mankind was only created less than 6000 years ago and that the Torah was written by God, directly contradicting science that claims that modern humans are between 40'000-50'000 years old (see here) and that the Torah is a collection of edited human manuscripts (see here).
6. Homosexuality. Homosexuality is an 'abomination' in the eyes of God, despite the fact that "The current literature and most scholars in the field agree that an individual's sexual orientation is not a matter of choice".
7. BTs. Even after people become orthodox ('baalei teshuvah’ or BTs), they often  have problems finding a right shidduch (date) since they come from a non-frum background and will almost without exception will continue to be treated as 2nd class co-religionists.

Have you got something to add? Let me know in the comments.