Some More Unsollicited Chinuch Advise

So yesterday, during the annual chometz sale (which in my opinion is a ferking joke anyway), I happened to bump into X. X has feverishly tried to convince us to send our oldest child to the haredi institution as opposed to the normal Jewish school we will send him to next year.

Some things he said:

“I know someone that I think you could talk to. His children also went to the haredi school and still found a job”.

I love the way how people use exceptions to prove their point. Especially since these kids happened to be geniuses and probably were able within no time to make up for what they missed.

Note that X is also a working man but he has been rather unsuccessful. Of course none of his children have a decent education and I am sure that if it weren’t for his wife teaching at the other school (!), the child allowance he receives for his army of kids and other tricky shtick he wouldn’t be able to make ends meet at all.

And why the F does he think I have a problem so that he is doing me a favor referring me to someone to speak to anyway?!

“You are playing with neshamos”

I told him we knew some fine people who had their kids in the non-haredi school and turned out fine. Of course he named one or two kids that went OTD and all I could do was secretly being jealous of the bright kids.

“Better a frum shnorrer than a frei bank manager”

Now this part was quite revealing. Here is an admission that staying within the haredi fold is more important than a child’s human dignity!

A poor man is considered to be like a dead man (Nedarim 64b)

Chinuch Angst

Yesterday, my wife and I decided against sending our child to the haredi school in our area and to sign our big son up for the local Jewish primary school that has a better chol program although their kodesh program sucks (even the headmaster admitted that his son needed extra lessons!).

Now, although I am an undercover kofer, I still don't want my son to be a 'boor veam haaretz', especially since I respect my wife and we sort of agreed to keep a minimum standard of yiddishkeit at home.

Of course, we are aware of the possible repercussions if our son gets accepted (which is most likely). We already had people come up to us with unsolicited advise, emotional pleas and high expectations. Most likely, this will change our social landscape and although I think it is all right, still, I am afraid to lose people I was very friendly with and for the unknown in the more snobbish, less frum crowd.

Also, we are slightly anxious about the fact that our son will now be confronted with many ‘foreign’ ideas (which is good!) and that I would need to deal with questions I'd prefer not to answer.

In any case, the social 'angst' that I have resulted in the following strange dream last night:

I was called up to the Torah in my old shul at home and before I was able to say anything, the congragation already replied. I was amazed and shrugged my shoulders, and then said "Borechu es Hashem hamevorach" and nobody responded.

I then looked around and suddenly saw that the paroches was taken off, the cover of the bimah was removed and people were sitting on the bare floor, as if it were Tisha be’Av and they were mourning for my soul.

I turned back to my father and he looked at me with a face that did not display any surprise, rather sympathy. I then asked: "This is a dream, isn't it?". And he replied "yes".

I then woke up in a worried state of mind. Not for being afraid to have taken the wrong decision but for that which lies ahead…