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Thursday, March 3, 2011

WTF Moment of the Day

So I am working late with nothing to eat for dinner and am looking for some sneaky treife little something to silence the rumblings in my stomach. The risk is low here, because it is out of town and most people are home by now.

I walk past the train station and see this new sushi bar. I smile and grab the voucher inside my coat pocket. I look inside the store and the asian-looking lady smiles at me and waves. I vaguely recognize the face but am not sure from where.

I enter the store. She keeps on smiling and says hi. I give her the voucher and she shows me the choices.

“These not kosher fish”, she says. And then it cuts like a knife. “You’d probably like vegetarian, right?”. I nod yes because I have no choice anymore.

OMFG. This sushi chick used to work at the local kosher restaurant. We used to come there rather frequently and she even knew our food preferences, our kids…

“And the sauce is parev, have a good night. Shalom!”.

I walked out with a red head and look up to the sky thinking: “If You really exist, what a sunnuvabitch you are!”

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14 comments:

  1. Jewish AtheistMarch 3, 2011 at 6:49 PM

    Haha, that sucks. But why did you care what she thinks? You should have just been like, "No, I'll take the shrimp" and given her a big wink.

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  2. chaynobodyMarch 3, 2011 at 7:52 PM

    LOL - Yup the big EYE in the sky really has it out for you... just wait - His best is yet to come...lol

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  3. SkepticalYidMarch 3, 2011 at 9:55 PM

    Seriously, you were out of town. Eat what you want. So the knife that cuts your tuna or salmon wasn't kosher. BFD

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  4. Rabbi Jeffrey FalickMarch 3, 2011 at 9:57 PM

    I agree with Jewish atheist. Of course we can't read too much into these things; life is full of coincidences. Still, it reminds me of the old joke..."I ordered a baked apple and this is how they serve it!"

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  5. Undercover KoferMarch 3, 2011 at 10:10 PM

    JA: Unfortunately, she is in close contact with her former boss, who happens to be a friend of my father-in-law...

    Chaynobody: Looking forward to my next aveirah :P

    SY: Not afraid of that part.

    RJF: Wow, honored to have you as a reader :) That reminds me of the following joke:

    A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar, and the bartender says "What is this, some kind of a joke?".

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  6. jewish philosopherMarch 3, 2011 at 11:46 PM

    Probably some great-grandmother who starved rather than eat non-kosher was looking down from somewhere.

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  7. SkepticalYidMarch 4, 2011 at 1:18 AM

    Anyone who has literally starved rather then eating traif has committed a big aveirah.

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  8. JoshMarch 4, 2011 at 5:35 AM

    It may sound counter-intuitive, but those who have reached the highest levels of expertise in mathematical statistics will assure you that even if you had three such experiences back-to-back, it would still not justify the conclusion that the Big Eye In The Sky had anything to do with it.

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  9. AnonymousMarch 6, 2011 at 5:59 AM

    Sushi? You should have left and got a double bacon cheeseburger. If you're gonna cheat do it right. At least go for the lobster next time. Earn your way into the imaginary place of eternal torment don't slack.

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  10. Undercover KoferMarch 6, 2011 at 2:31 PM

    Did the cheeseburger thing, tastes OK but not fabulous, lobster is definitely not in my yeitzer hora's oeuvre. Why call it cheating?

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  11. GourmandYidMarch 7, 2011 at 2:53 AM

    Find yourself a burger that's char broiled, medium rare, served with a fine aged gouda and you'll be in heaven ;-)

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  12. Jewish AtheistMarch 7, 2011 at 4:11 PM

    Bacon > sushi > cheeseburgers > lobster, in my opinion.

    I agree with GourmandYid that there are some fancy cheeseburgers that are awesome. Non-kosher cheese can be really good.

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  13. GourmandYidMarch 7, 2011 at 6:10 PM

    Kobi beef, char-broiled medium rare, with a slice of 7 year aged cheddar of 5 year gouda melted onto the meat. Fried onions, Canadian bacon, tomato, lettuce, a dab of garlic aioli. All nestled in a fresh , flaky kaiser roll. Serve with thick cut crispy fries and a triple thick malted milk shake. Rate it what you will, but there's no question it would be orgasmic.

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  14. smileMarch 16, 2011 at 12:40 PM

    I'd like some of this fish
    That's ham.
    Did I ask you what's the name of the fish?

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